So it's Fall, and finally cooling off. I've been working hard (well, hard for me) in the studio, and on my web-page. I'm really struggling with my poverty though, and to add extra pressure, got wait-listed for the Baltimore ACC Show, which is usually my main money maker of the year, so.....
I think more than that, I've had to deal with the fact that I'm struggling with motivation when it comes to physical activity. Ever since I had Lyme's Disease, I've felt tired and so I've gotten out of shape. I need to start doing something.
had a great visit with Lexie, and will have another one with Lexie and Richie in a couple of weeks,
and, I'm back to work.
The piece above, is titled "family" and was inspired by a family gathering this summer, to commemorate my Uncle Chas. Each of the houses represents my mother and her brothers and sisters. The windows are their children.
so, here i am getting ready for Lexie to come for the weekend. Of course, I have to clean like mad, which is why i'm blogging!!
it's been a fun summer, i did some okay work, went to Texas, and saw friends and relations i hadn't seen for eons......this is where i would post pictures of them, if i hadn't accidently erased them from my camera (dammit).
I'm trying to mainly come to turns with being poor, which is really hard. I have to depend on a lot of people, which I've never had to do before, and I HATE IT!! But, la la la, oh well.
February and March have been okay months.....two big shows, a breakdown in Georgia, that totally sucked me dry financially. More tests it seems. But Sky and I had a wonderful time at Universal Studios, I just wish that I had a camera to record my pale window, my boy on our adventures.
It's hard starting out a new year with (what one hopes) is the saddest day you'll ever have. But there it is. I've had a few sad days.
My daughter's stillborn day.
The day I had to tell Sky about his father's death.
My own father's death.
But I have to interject something here, maybe off the point, because my mind is just rambling now. I remember a few years, this same daughter called, on her way to the Emergency Room, could I meet her there? I don't remember what was wrong, a miscarriage, I think, but it could have been something else. I don't think I want to remember. But I was also in a black-out drunk. Because that was what I did in those days. I don't remember much, but I know I made a drunken scene in the ER, I do know I was of no help whatsoever to Kathy.
So, I should be grateful (small mercies) that I could be there for her this time. Hold her hand through the whole birth, knowing what was coming, but not knowing yet the look of anguish only a mother can have for her lost child.
I hope I never know that. It's been my biggest worry with this child for the past 10 (12?) years.
I could write a whole lot more about anguish, because of Bill, of course. But that rests for another day.